Bitterly sweet sides of life.

5th April - We went to the wheelchair clinic yesterday, it was snowing and cold, odd as today the sun is out, no sign of the fact we were in minuses 24 hours ago. Anyway, I'm getting a new chair, they are sorting me a manual chair, and reinforcing the footplates/leg rests as spasms etc keep making them break, as when they go in to spasm they have to be held down because of the unnatural angels they twist at and the strange exhaustion etc that I still get afterwards, as I wont take the meds they gave me to stop it, as the side effects include organ problems/failure and death, erm no thanks lol. But at least it will make life alot easier... and less expense.

12th April
The pain levels I'm in these past couple of days hasn't been much fun, I've become tired, stressed, depressed and not so easy to live with, they will only prescribe basic painkillers, the kind you can buy over the counter, the only positive about getting them prescription based is the fact that they come in larger amounts, the sort of amount they wont allow you to buy, and if you probably brought the amount I get they'd probably stop serving you.. but other than that they can scrape the surface of the pain if I'm lucky. The past few days have felt like my coccyx has been shattered, my hip is so painful I can't sleep on it anymore and my back, my back is like both combined, then there's the rest. It's a long road, having my 'mystery' or 'MR I' as I call it, as it covers mystery and invisible.. both of which is seems to be to everyone else, I just wish it were to me. Stay strong. I keep saying that... but there are things that are worth staying strong for... there are also things worth crying for sometimes, even if to cry helps 'us' to stay strong.