My weight is really getting to me, I'm a top size 20-22.. My cup size doesn't help in making me look bigger still, I'm getting depressed over it. Everytime I see my mum I hear her say that I'm big, people have made comments about my eating, and everytime I goto antenatal I have to hear references to my BMI and my weight. It's literally had me in tears..
My ability to exercise is limited, and although I'm aware I've lost some weight since I quit drinking, (As I can now fit into a smaller-none stretch trousers, and some smaller bras). It's not enough, people wont stop going on, so I've gone on a diet, the max in calories I've eaten this week is little over 1300, (And I know I've done under 600). It's given me a couple of minor issues, but then the important thing is, is that the weight comes off a bit faster. I want people to drop it, I know I'm fat, so I don't need telling I'm fat.
I've also been browsing diet pills/appetite suppressants. I might hang on until I'm later in the pregnancy for those though, we'll see how it goes.
Weight
Been to the hospital today...
Been to the hospital today, whilst Susan had Jordan, as he goes back to school tomorrow.
We were there for well over an hour, but the midwife was really nice. We've covered issues, ran over family history and all the background, she took a vampire share of blood lol, as well as discussed problems that I'm currently having, my BP is still high, and my hips and pelvis aren't good, and to top it off the problems with my legs will probably mean that I'm going to have, to have daily injections, my face probably said 100 things when she said that one, but the important thing is that I stay alright so that pudding can be healthy.
Pudding apparently is 'a good sized baby', he's still low down and on his back, with his legs over his body and arms around his head, she said that there will probably be another scan to see what he's doing, (I'd never turn down a chance to see one of those anyway, I love watching Pudding, and so does Mike). And that will be booked at a later appointment. I've also got an appointment with the OB Wednesday, and I'm waiting for one to see an anaesthetist and a physiotherapist, as well as the usual ones... I've also agreed to see someone about re-quitting smoking.
Well, we'll go with the flow, and do what we feel is best, and on the bright side here, I'm not going to be stuck in the house and bored lol.
Until next time...
*Hugs*
Louise
The second scan
We went for the scan yesterday, after a phonecall out of the blue. Both children were off school so I asked if it was OK to bring them up, and she said it was, after discovering the road was closed, and finding a new route as well as a place to park we arrived pretty late, which they were OK with after I explained.
Both kids came into the scan room, which she said she didn't mind although it was supposed to be partners only, there wasn't alot I could say at the end of that, because she let them in, and even Jordan behaved.. Anyway she gunked up my stomach lol and rolled the scanner over. There was pudding, he's not his, (Oh yep, he's a he, found that out too). Polo mint sized bean baby anymore lol, but a little baby for all to see.. and although she made me worry when she kept going on about seeing an OB ASAP. I asked if everything was OK and she explained that pudding was laying on his back, in an awkward position low down, (That explains why it feels like I'm getting kicked in the pelvis/groin lol). And the scan wasn't clear, as well, as the fact that she couldn't get the measurements she needed to get either. But from what she could get, the head, spine and legs looked good, we got to see his arms and hands, and him open his mouth.. as well as little heart pumping away.. that beautiful little sign of life.
Jay didn't have alot to say yesterday, although he smiled when I said it was a little boy, but I'm not surprised, as he said before that he wanted the baby to be a boy because he didn't want to be surrounded by sisters lol.. even so I got a good none-stop-natter out of him this morning, and it turned out he was concerned for me, for pretty much everything including having the gel put on, but I explained it was all fine, and everythings OK. And he's happy.
Mike even picked puddings first blue baby set as well as sandwiches on the way home, whilest I waited in the car. :)
It almost seems impossible
It almost seems impossible to book a scan around here, two maternity hospitals, and they still can't fit me in at a suitable time. Yesterday I was supposed to have an appointment for 2:00pm I arranged for my daughter to come home from school at lunchtime to be here when Jordan arrives home from school, because they said the scan would take time.. I rang them to make sure that everything was OK and the scanner was ill. She then said that she'd got another one for the same time today, and as I said I can't keep booking Sarah off from school to look after Jordan, and Jordan's not OK to be left home alone. She then said that they're the only times they've got available. To which I just said no, it's got to be before 2.. And can she make a note of it. She wasn't happy and sat silently a min, before she said she'd got to put me back on the waiting list then. So I've gone back on the list.
Happy Birthday
My daughter is 16 today, to be honest I don't feel old for it, like I thought I would .. It feels like an achievement in a strange way, (Not in the sense that I haven't throttled her for those 16 years either lol). My oldest is a young lady, she's brought tears and joy over the years and has been with me through many hurdles, and yet she's been there right by my side the whole time.
I hope she manages to achieve the things she wants to, and makes herself proud.
In the meantime I'm sitting here wondering, where have those 16 years gone?
Pitter patter
I've felt pudding move a fair few times now, it's like two fingers patting as lightly as possible, little sweetie seems to pick as soon as I'm laying down relaxing before it starts up, so on queue as I'm ready to go to sleep, off starts the little 'pitter patter', and of cause almost out of instinct I have to stop getting ready to sleep and concentrate on it lol. It's these little things that somehow you part-forget as your children grow, perhaps it's because you grow up, and go up all the stages with them, and don't really think to look back.
I have yet to sort out my 12 week scan. Combination of poor weather, living on a hill (Not so good to get back up in the snow!). And my sleepy days, which by the way haven't been so bad as of late. Not that I'm complaining mind, but being 16 weeks now, I guess I'm going to have to get the ball rolling, before I'm in the labour ward!
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