The trip to the zoo was great, it was the only day last week that the sun shined too, as if mother nature gave us a little gift herself. Whilst there, Andrew was fixated with this little tiny turtle, I took a pic of him staring it at, and almost as if posing for him, it swam right to the top of the tank and right back down and sat there in front of him.. it was very sweet. We saw a whole array of animals, and had a lovely day, and for the first time in months I was able to relax - properly, we spent over 6 hours there, and honestly it really didn't feel like it. The children all have gifts from there, and we all enjoyed the day, it's definitely worth another visit, another time.
I'll post some piccys a little later on x
Take care x
Zoo
Andrews birthday
Andrews birthday is on the 14th, I can't believe my baby is 1 in two days time.. it doesn't feel like a years gone past already. (Almost lol)
I've been in turmoil over what to do, as I'm sure you can understand by my previous post, but I figured it about a week ago, and spoke it over with Mike.
We've decided, unknown to the children, that because Andrew likes animals that we'll take him/them to the zoo.
And maybe do him a little birthday tea after my jaw has healed right. (I had dental surgery, over a week ago, I can now just about fit my thumb in my mouth, it doesn't make good for table manners).
I'd really love for his birthday to be built on special memories, because that's what it should be about. And I'm starting to look forward to it too, as we've booked and payed for the tickets, so it's just down to the weather to be kind...
I've also been working on fathers day bits for this Sunday..
Anyway, I hope your day is kind.
Take care
Louise xx
vent
I've been fighting depression again, and rather a nasty bout.
I had a message from Kate saying I made her life shit and I could f* off. Then I got a couple of messages from my mum saying that I like hurting the ones that I love, and it's best to say goodbye and go our separate ways.
and a seperate message from my mum, with yet another lie from Kate..
At the same time Kate sent me a card on my birthday, (None from mum). Saying that she was sorry, (My birthday was the 14th May, messages were found the day after on my xbox of all places). It all felt like hugs and slaps at the same time.
I tried to talk to my mum, and let my feelings out perhaps a little more than I should have, but I was told to grow up... nice, but still, as I explained, I couldn't have said those things to Kate, because we'd had no phone that week as some *@~ had ripped the phone wire out from round the side of the house outside.. No phone = no internet. Though to be honest, I was still 'airing my brain' after the last 'bumpy patch', and I hadn't spoke to her at all. Even before that.
I ended up closing the topic off, and not talking to her, after what she said about my sons. Basically, I tried to stop my daughter having sex with some 19 plus year old, whilst she was 14 because he was using her, in fact, said now 21 plus year old has gone to prison over getting involved with a 12 year old... regardless, mum said Andrew or Jordan could end up being that 19 year old :(
And that to me is the last straw. No one is going to label my sons as possible predators. Ever.
It broke my heart. And it's as if my whole system has gone on auto-pilot, (Although it's getting easier).
~ To top it off I've been choking on food for over a month, it's now happening virtually every time I eat.
I feel a lot older than 34..
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